Sunday, September 28, 2008

You Know You're a Piercer if...................

- Every item of clothing you own is covered in Gentian Violet.

- There could be a gorgeous naked man/woman standing in front of you and all you can focus on is the crooked nipple ring.

- If you had a nickle for every time you heard "Did that hurt?" you could pay for the trip to APP.

- You look at every person you meet as a new pin cushion.

- When someone tells you they pierced such and such themselves, it makes you as angry as monkeys make Seth.

- You couldn't care less about people like Brad Pitt or Lindsay Lohan, but become instantly excited at any mention of Fakir Musafar, Brian Decker, or Jim Ward.

- People who you don't know show up where you live/call your house/send messages to your private e-mail account asking you why their nostril piercing is infected.

- You can't pay a visit to the doctor's office without stealing anything and everything in sight.

- You know that behind every conservative woman in a full length flowerprint skirt is a whole bunch of genital piercings.

- You've seen more breasts than your horny teenage brother.

- You've developed unquestionable skill in the art of pretending to listen to people you don't like talk for too long about things you don't care about at all.

- You've spent considerable amounts of money on aviator sunglasses, Ed Hardy t-shirts, or gold plated piercing tools because if people are going to think you live like a rock star, you might as well indulge.

- Hours of your life have been wasted explaining to fourteen year old mall goths that you can't learn to pierce from an online class, an Ebay kit, or beauty school, and that you don't want them as your apprentice.

- There are holes in the plotline of any DVD or VHS you've seen in the past few years because of incoming customers.

- Any night out on the town or special moment in public is interrupted by someone who you apparently pierced at some point during your career. What, you don't remember Mrs. Johnson's underage lover's sister's cousin's prince albert piercing?

- You can accurately gauge how close you are with each of your friends by how many times they've let you try some experimental procedure on them.

- Your high school and college notebooks consist mostly of doodles of captive bead rings and pierced body parts.

- You're saving your pennies for a foot pedal-operated sink.

- People automatically assume you know their mother's cousin's best friend, who also has an industrial piercing.

- You're familiar with the terms "Squeezy nasal saline," "drooly paper towel," and "feeling wonky."

- You can spot a fainter a mile away.

- You can accurately gauge a client's eating and drinking habits by the color and consistency of their blood.


Friday, September 26, 2008

Don't Forget...............

This is the last week of the infamous $20 piercing sale! Come on down and get the piercing you wanted, without paying the price!

On another note, I will be taking some leave from the shop November 5th - November 15th. Seth will be here for jewelry changes and such, but if you want to be pierced you will have to come see me beforehand! (or after, I always love to see my customers!)

See you soon!

You've Got The Cutest Dimples!

Well, SHE does now.
A quite pleasant young woman came into the shop yesterday and wanted her dimples pierced. I was happy to oblige! This is one of my favorite piercings, but one of the toughest to heal! I do have a client who I dermal anchored just because of this, I will post pics once he comes back! Until then, we will wish her the best of luck in healing hers!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I know it's been Blog-O-Rama today......

But this was just so inspiring

You Have Got To Be Fucking Kidding Right?

This can't be true?! I can pierce MYSELF in the privacy of my own home? And for only $8.99? Goddamn that is effin' sweeeeeet!!!! That will save me a ton of money to pay my medical bills after!

I am not kidding! I ran into an EBay store that touts 'We specialize in offering the highest quality Body Piercing Kits and Supplies at the most affordable prices.'
Well geeze, I am SURE they come with years of experience in anatomy, dermatology, aseptic technique, and proper size and placement of jewelry! I mean, it's $8.99 for Christ's sake! But wait! There's more! Check out the AFTERCARE
It's all fancy shmancy in the beginning, that is what draws you in, then comes the grand finale.......BLAMMO! Anbesol! WHAT?!!!! I have seen some bad aftercare in my time but this is just horrendous, borderline life threatening even!

Here's a tip, don't get your piercing on EBay! I should make that into a fucking fortune cookie! They are always filled with obvious shit.

If you feel like taking a look at their fantastic, high quality, guaranteed to give you an infection merchandise CHECK IT OUT!
Notice they put their private email address right on the page *wink*

Hey! Douchebag selling piercing kits on EBay! 100% positive feedback does not qualify you as a member of the piercing profession!

Yeah I Am Stereotyping, So What!

I just have to go there. I am having a piercing special so I get a lot of clients I normally wouldn't have. Those 'I guess I will do it because it's cheap and my friends talked me into it' types. Now, and I am only drawing on my years of experience, I will explain these types of clients. They always come in 3's. ALWAYS. They are as follows:

The Scared Girl(TSG)This is the one who wants to get a piercing but is scared to death and is only here because her friends told her it was cool.

The Pushy Friend(TPF) This is the one standing beside her saying 'just do it, we're here already and I drove' but would never get pierced herself. TPF probably doesn't really even like TSG and would love to just see her in pain.

The I Know Everything About Piercing Because My Mom Took Me To Get My Tongue Pierced Two Years Ago(TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA) She is my Favorite. Everytime TSG asks me a question SHE has the answer and it is always WRONG. Then I take great pleasure in belittling her in front of her friends.

So now that we are familiar with them, let's go through a typical encounter.

-Girls walk into the shop looking scared as hell-
Me: What can I do to help you?
TSG: How much does it cost for a lip piercing?
Me: $20
TSG: Wow! Does it hurt? (side note, I NEVER get tired of this question)
TPG: Don't worry about it, just do it!
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: It doesn't hurt at all. When I got my tongue done the only thing that hurt was all the Listerine I had to use after, but drinking milkshakes through a straw helps with your swelling.
Me: What?! No! Of course it hurts, but pain is relevant so what doesn't hurt her might in fact, hurt you.
TSG: Really? How bad will it hurt?
Me: I can't tell you that.
TSG: I'm not sure I want to do it.
TPG: Goddddd....just do it! It's not going to hurt and will be quick. Stop being stupid!
TSG: Will you do it with me?
TPG: I can't, I don't have my ID. (yeah right)
Me: Do you want to or not? Don't do anything you are not sure about.
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: (this is where she gets into cahoots with TPG so she she can show the Piercer just how much she knows) Just do it! It doesn't hurt and is super fast.
TSG: Ok, I guess I will do it.
Me: Can I see your ID?

Now this is the time I get her paperwork ready and they stand in the lobby bickering about how it's not going to hurt and she is being stupid etc etc. I set up and come back to get her. Now the following conversation was short and just going to cover my interaction between TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA because the piercing actually went quite easy.

TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: This is so cool, I really want to be a piercer one day!
Me: Yeah?
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: Yeah I know SOOOO much about it! I even do all my own piercings!
Me: Oh My God, you do what?!
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: Well I do a really good job and everything is sterile.
Me: Do you have an autoclave?
Me: Nevermind
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: So is it just an online course or something? I want to start as soon as possible.
Me: (this is where I struggle hard to maintain my composure and my professionalism) No, it is a hard profession to get into. You have to be very driven and need to find someone who will teach you.
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: Do you make a lot of money?
Me: I would rather not discuss this.
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: I am SO going to do this!
Me: *cough* no you're not

Anyhoo, I just had to get that off my chest. If it is you I am speaking of, I apologize (well, not really) If you have encountered it you will know exactly what I'm talking about.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Raise your hand if you want to hang from meat hooks!!

So Seth introduced me to a gentleman by the name of Mason out of Maryland. He runs a suspension group out there and I have been dying to learn. So Seth calls him up and guess what? He sent me a list of supplies and should be here in a few months to teach Seth and I how to rig. I am SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!! Ehem, did I mention I was excited? Seth and I eventually want to start our own team right here in little ol' Groton. If your interested in suspending, or just want to watch, keep an eye on us. We just might be hanging your Mom from hooks in the near future! If you have no idea what I am talking about, check out this link:

BMEzine Encyclopedia: Suspension

And just for you who don't like to read:

Photo courtesy
God that's beautiful! Hope I 'hooked you in' Mahahahahaha!

I have a new Apprentice

I am sooooooo excited! I have finally got a new apprentice since Kendra's quick exit a few months ago. His name is Seth, and he is AWESOME!

Isn't he handsome?

You guys should all come down and meet him, because pretty soon, he will be piercing when I'm not there. Check out his Blog for more info about this righteous dude!

Holey Man-Chronicles of a Piercing Apprentice

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Needles, needles everywhere and not a drop of blood!

So twice a year I always have this special. All basic piercings are $20. That special has started now. So come in and get a piercing, or two, or three.....come on, I'm bored! You won't get a deal like this again for another 6 months so hurry your butt up! It ends on Sept. 30th. For all the details like restrictions and such, CLICK HERE!

You can also use this special to fill up your stamp card. See below:


So come in and let me stab you, you know you want to!