Yeah I Am Stereotyping, So What!

I just have to go there. I am having a piercing special so I get a lot of clients I normally wouldn't have. Those 'I guess I will do it because it's cheap and my friends talked me into it' types. Now, and I am only drawing on my years of experience, I will explain these types of clients. They always come in 3's. ALWAYS. They are as follows:

The Scared Girl(TSG)This is the one who wants to get a piercing but is scared to death and is only here because her friends told her it was cool.

The Pushy Friend(TPF) This is the one standing beside her saying 'just do it, we're here already and I drove' but would never get pierced herself. TPF probably doesn't really even like TSG and would love to just see her in pain.

The I Know Everything About Piercing Because My Mom Took Me To Get My Tongue Pierced Two Years Ago(TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA) She is my Favorite. Everytime TSG asks me a question SHE has the answer and it is always WRONG. Then I take great pleasure in belittling her in front of her friends.

So now that we are familiar with them, let's go through a typical encounter.

-Girls walk into the shop looking scared as hell-
Me: What can I do to help you?
TSG: How much does it cost for a lip piercing?
Me: $20
TSG: Wow! Does it hurt? (side note, I NEVER get tired of this question)
TPG: Don't worry about it, just do it!
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: It doesn't hurt at all. When I got my tongue done the only thing that hurt was all the Listerine I had to use after, but drinking milkshakes through a straw helps with your swelling.
Me: What?! No! Of course it hurts, but pain is relevant so what doesn't hurt her might in fact, hurt you.
TSG: Really? How bad will it hurt?
Me: I can't tell you that.
TSG: I'm not sure I want to do it.
TPG: Goddddd....just do it! It's not going to hurt and will be quick. Stop being stupid!
TSG: Will you do it with me?
TPG: I can't, I don't have my ID. (yeah right)
Me: Do you want to or not? Don't do anything you are not sure about.
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: (this is where she gets into cahoots with TPG so she she can show the Piercer just how much she knows) Just do it! It doesn't hurt and is super fast.
TSG: Ok, I guess I will do it.
Me: Can I see your ID?

Now this is the time I get her paperwork ready and they stand in the lobby bickering about how it's not going to hurt and she is being stupid etc etc. I set up and come back to get her. Now the following conversation was short and just going to cover my interaction between TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA because the piercing actually went quite easy.

TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: This is so cool, I really want to be a piercer one day!
Me: Yeah?
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: Yeah I know SOOOO much about it! I even do all my own piercings!
Me: Oh My God, you do what?!
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: Well I do a really good job and everything is sterile.
Me: Do you have an autoclave?
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: A what?
Me: Nevermind
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: So is it just an online course or something? I want to start as soon as possible.
Me: (this is where I struggle hard to maintain my composure and my professionalism) No, it is a hard profession to get into. You have to be very driven and need to find someone who will teach you.
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: Do you make a lot of money?
Me: I would rather not discuss this.
TIKEAPBMMTMTGMTPTYA: I am SO going to do this!
Me: *cough* no you're not

Anyhoo, I just had to get that off my chest. If it is you I am speaking of, I apologize (well, not really) If you have encountered it you will know exactly what I'm talking about.